the Blog of Dairy

egg NOG3: Dude, I’m not even kidding. My defense in Madden is killing me. Every play I’m losing about seven yards to the pass.
SuperbeastSylo:: You need to put more pressure on the QB.
egg NOG3: I’m trying everything I can think of. I’ll even throw in a stunt blitz and send in my corner or some shit. But the QB picks right up on it and does a quick pass to the open guy.
SuperbeastSylo:: I went on live the other day under my name Superbeast011337 and pwned some fools, it was great.

It occured to me this morning that I have awful sleep habits. It’s not so much I’m staying up until 6 or 7 am, it’s that I’m doing nothing in the process. I mean, outside of scouting talent for my next factious (ie: that fucking awesome) rock band, “Tqusepha”. Yeah, that’s an awesome name, don’t you think? Don’t ask me how to say it either, I have no fucking clue.

If you’re ever around this guy, I suggest you get his autograph. It’s only a matter of time before he blows up and forgets his roots. Then the bitch is gonna charge your ass for that John Hancock.

Yeah, so I was giving it some thought today and I think I’m going to try and kill Mayor McCheese. Not because he’s the right hand man of Satan or anything, it’s just because his political views are so far ahead of their time that he must be stopped now before the world as we know it ceases to exsist. Ha, I’m just kidding. I’m all for a revolution, baby. Viva la revolution!

Also, if you tickle Sylo right under his rib cage, he’ll giggle like a school girl for hours. Fact.

-NOG

I know that a lot of you watched Self Destruction, so you saw us get robbed of the titles. Nowadays it seems like I can’t walk down the streets without someone asking me if I used to be in Foghat (the answer is no, but man do I wish I had been!).

Anyway, for anyone that doesn’t know, at the previously mentioned pay-per-view extravaganza, NOGilles and I looked like the sure-shot next champs. I had daringly leapt from the ladder to take out the last little bit of our competition, and the egg N-O-G to the G-O-N all but had his hands on the title straps, when out of nowhere some crazy hillbilly ghost thing jumped the barrier and tazered him. Tazered him, man. That’s nuts. Where’s the security staff? How’d he even get into the arena with a tazer?

Free Ice Cream Hour:

I think that everyone out there knows what the LOD’s position on free ice cream is (we think it’s delicious), but Mayor McCheese didn’t sound quite as enthusiastic as we do about this idea. Even though he did say “‘Free Ice Cream Hour’ is a wonderful idea,” he followed up with “but I feel that a window as large as an hour may be too much for our fragile ice cream economy. Therefore, I will push legislation through that will make free ice cream a reality, but at a much more reasonable interval.” I don’t know about you, but if it’s anything less than one solid hour, I’m going to have MiLk throw a dead bull elephant into his pool.