Business 12 Apr 2006 09:06 am
A Day In the Life of the Legion
8:30 A.M. - Wake up.
8:31 A.M. - Go back to sleep.
12:30 P.M. - Wake up for real this time, realize that we have to be at the arena by noon. Also realize that we’re huge draws, and we can show up whenever we feel like it.
12:45 P.M. - Enjoy a delicious breakfast of bacon imported from Canada and eggs imported from some farm or something. I enjoy a hunk of cheese, in order to reconnect with my roots and keep myself humble. egg NOG enjoys a glass of his namesake, always forgetting that it’s bad to drink something that rich before you wrestle. MiLk drinks tequila.
1:00 P.M. - Play a quick game of hopscotch.
1:23 P.M. - Arrive at arena an hour and twenty-three minutes late. We get word that Brandon Thomas wants to see us about our excessive lateness, but we blow him off and play dominoes instead.
2:24 P.M. - Brandon Thomas finds us and yells at us. I tune him out, and egg NOG does something. I don’t really know. The day gets kind of fuzzy here.
3:00 (?) P.M. - We start to get ready for work. This is the easy part, since all we ever wear is wrestling gear. Also, we finally take off all of our old title belts, which we tend to wear throughout the day.
3:45 P.M. - Still taking off our titles. We’re pretty accomplished, you know.
3:46 P.M. - Finished getting ready. YoGuRt parachutes in from a low-flying crop duster. Show off.
4:01 P.M. - Watch “Highlander“. Sing “Princes of the Universe” throughout.
6:01 P.M. - Watch “Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf” to get pumped up for our match. Also, for the midget zombie that gets impaled. That is awesome.
7:32 P.M. - Enjoy a sensible dinner of a light salad, a vintage soda, and two babies.
9:00 - ? (Probably 11:00) P.M. - Ignore Violence, since it turns out we probably aren’t on it.