General & Politics 21 Aug 2006 08:58 am
Breaking News!
There are a lot of people (oh, what they heck, here’s some more) that say that tomorrow is the day that Iran is gonna launch a nuclear attack on Dairytown. When reached for comment, Mayor McCheese had this to say:
I have been told that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is rumored to be planning to launch a nuclear strike on the sovereign state of Dairytown. Even though he has publicly stated that Dairytown isn’t “quite as evil as the rest of America“, he may bomb us, as the loss of the Legion of Dairy has often been cited as one one of the things that could bring the entire nation to a halt. Even more than the death of a president, or any other elected official, losing such brilliant performers and their entire supporting cast of quirky characters would case inflation to soar, the real estate market to dry up, and slutty girls to stop putting out: in short, anarchy would reign.
It is for this reason that I have sent some of our more minor characters, led by the Legion, deep into Iranian territory to try and reason with President Ahmadinejad. If they can’t reason with him, they have been authorized to use juggling and card tricks to try and sway him. If this second phase were to fail also, they have been given permission to body slam him until he poops his presidential pants. I sincerely hope that it doesn’t have to come to violence.
Evan Dorkin bless Dairytown, and nowhere else.
On the other hand, Madden ‘07 comes out too! Whooo football! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!