the Blog of Dairy

In response to today’s news that Pluto is gonna be considered a “dwarf planet”, YoGuRt would like to offer his carfeully considered criticism of the choice.

What? Pluto’s not a planet anymore?! Michael E. Brown, if I ever see you in the street, I swear to fucking God that you’ll get your comeupance!

I mean, I don’t know what you look like or anything, so if you see me coming, let me know so that I know to beat the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed shit out of you, okay?

There are a lot of people (oh, what they heck, here’s some more) that say that tomorrow is the day that Iran is gonna launch a nuclear attack on Dairytown. When reached for comment, Mayor McCheese had this to say:

Will we finally post the second half of our adventures in Russia? Will we survive our war of attrition with медведь? Turn in sometime later to find out!

Sorry that it’s taken so long for me to post about our trip to Russia (honestly, who knew it wasn’t the “Union of Soviet Socialist Republics” anymore?), but it’s taken us twenty-five days to wash the stink of vodka and tomato soup out of our clothes. Anyway, onward, with the LOD’s patented semi-jingoism!

Our journey started mere moments after my last post, when egg NOG and I left to go to Dairytown International Airport (I’m the one in the bowler cap on the left, and egg NOG is dead center in the front), where we were treated like kings. Like kings of wrestling. Oooohhhh, I like that. I bet we can turn that into a sweet gimmick. Where was I? Oh, right, anyway, we landed in Russia to great fanfare. Even across whatever ocean it was we crossed, people love the LOD.

Today marks the day that egg NOG and I (that’d be the Legion of Dairy to you) make our way to the mighty USSR for a solid week of wrestling and commie bashing! Hooray, democracy!

Start off by wishing all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day. Hurray for West Virginia created holidays. Try not to spend too much time in the kitchen because your children are assholes and won’t cook for you.

Birthday was nice. Feels weird to turn 32. I just feel old now.

In LoC news: We’re in the middle of contract talks with BT and the LoC. Don’t expect to see us on TV for a little while until both sides can agree on a number that favors us both. Money is the root of all that is evil.

Saturday, May 6 is Free Comic Book Day. Go to your Local Comic Book Shop (or find it at the FCBD site, if you don’t know where it is) and get free comics.

The idea is so pure, so wonderful, it’d only be better if it was Free Comic Books, Pie and Ice Cream Day.

Deuces! (A Fully-Sanctioned Cookie Recipe of the Legion of Dairy)

2 Eggs
2 3/4 Cups All-Purpose Flour
1 Cup White Sugar
9 oz. Peanut Butter Chips
9 oz. Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
1/2 Cup Butter
1 1/4 Tsp. Vanilla Extract
1/2 Cup Eggnog

8:30 A.M. - Wake up.
8:31 A.M. - Go back to sleep.
12:30 P.M. - Wake up for real this time, realize that we have to be at the arena by noon. Also realize that we’re huge draws, and we can show up whenever we feel like it.
12:45 P.M. - Enjoy a delicious breakfast of bacon imported from Canada and eggs imported from some farm or something. I enjoy a hunk of cheese, in order to reconnect with my roots and keep myself humble. egg NOG enjoys a glass of his namesake, always forgetting that it’s bad to drink something that rich before you wrestle. MiLk drinks tequila.